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To Mom or Not to Mom?

This post is something every woman has been confronted with; you’ve thought about it, some of you have gotten thrown into it and had to rise or fall, some (including myself) have battled with this huge decision. That topic is, becoming a mom (or not) or choosing to mom again.

Choosing to become a mom was a HARD decision for me, it was the first and only intentional decision of my life that…I couldn’t take back. There’s no 30-day trial on this baby. There’s no divorce option. There’s no quitting this job. I didn’t have any prior experience. Most of us don’t know what the hell we’re doing as first-time mom’s. We know how to love but what else?

We can read all the parental how-to books and go to classes (which I did) but no one knows how your baby will be or how your mind and body will respond to this new human. Have you considered: parenthood will be the hardest journey of your life? Breastfeeding might not work for you and to have a plan B? Oh, and you might not shower daily. And you’ll forget to eat. Your sex life will change. And you’ll cry sometimes for no explainable reason. And you’ll be so sleep deprived the first few months. And you’ll never love another anything or anyone how you love your child. Motherhood is a bond like nothing else in this world. Nothing.

Becoming a mother is nothing new or foreign to human beings….there are hundreds of thousands of births every day in the world. And whether you labor, adopt, or marry into motherhood – the road traveled for all of us to become a mom or not become a mom is a very different experience for every woman.

Hear me loudly: You are not wrong or abnormal for not wanting children. I repeat, you are not wrong or abnormal for not wanting children. Society applies extreme pressure to women to procreate and sometimes that pressure also builds from our own family and communities. From someone who has been through it, my advice is to stay in sync with your mission. Unsure what your mission is? Read our next post about finding yourself.

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